You make ask yourself, how did this happen to me? I have spoken to a lot of people in the throes of divorce or trying to rebuild their life after divorce. One of the struggles I hear over and over again is the disbelief that this is where life has taken them, whether it’s the person who never got to start a family or the single parent having to figure it all out on their own; starting over sucks.

Are You Looking in the Mirror in Disbelief, Asking Yourself, “How Did This Happen to Me?”

You are not alone.

There is a tendency for divorce survivors to look over the landscape of life and ask “how did I get here and how could this happen to me?” Disbelief seems like a ghost haunting you, reminding you of just how much pain you feel.

It seems ever more present for those who are just getting by rather than those who are sitting in the saddle of real recovery.

But don’t get me wrong, even I recall feeling this way post-divorce, deep in therapy...

First of all, hugs. Because I'm a hugger and you could use a hug. I know loneliness after divorce is the worst feeling to sit with. Of course, the entire process of divorce is lonely. It often feels like single-handedly carrying all of the world's responsibilities with no one around to help. And the loneliness can lead to some pretty destructive choices...which I am NOT judging bc I did them too. They usually involve alcohol, maybe some recreational drugs, random sex, and spending money on things you do not need. But none of it works. Not for longer than a few hours. And then you crash. And feel like shit. And deeply alone.

The Story of Loneliness after Divorce

You Want to Be Wanted … Again

You know you’re not ready to date, but you want someone to want you. To hold your hand, take your call when you’re having a bad day, and to tell you how beautiful you look when you cry.

Buuuuuuut dating won’t work if you haven’t healed the wounds from...

We are naturally programmed to heal from wounds. But there are times in life the injury or illness is too much to heal without intervention. If you are healing after a divorce, or another painful experience, read the questions below and find out how your answers provide hints about how to heal your life!

4 Questions to Help Your Healing After a Divorce

1. Are you the type of person that immediately unpacks when arriving at your destination? Do you place your things on hangers and into the drawers or do you work out of your suitcase?
2. Do you avoid the doctor at all costs or do you quickly go to determine a diagnosis and seek treatment?
3. When you have a disagreement with a family member or friend, do you wait for it to blow over or do you work together to resolve it?
4. When you’re feeling burnt out and stuck, do you seek the motivation and support you need or do you work endlessly to figure it out on your own?

How you answer these four questions about healing after a divorce will...

The frequent lawyer calls and emails have gone silent. The depositions, appeals, and meditations have ended. Your divorce is final, and this chapter of your life has come to a close. Soooooooo…what now? How are you supposed to feel? What’s your next move? You made it through one hell of a divorce alive, so why (WHY?!?!) do you feel so shitty now? Read more if you ask yourself “How do I start my life over after divorce?

An unhealthy marriage is often the result of a million nuanced choices made over time, and divorce is one solution to that particular problem; it is not, however, a fix-all. You need to overhaul your thinking, my friend. Let’s get, the post-divorce you, ready to conquer the World again!

How Do I Start My Life Over After Divorce: Perspective, Trust, Intuition

1. Regain perspective

As personal as marriage and divorce are, feeling like divorce is something that happened TO you isn’t the kind of outlook that promotes healing;...

So you got divorced, and you are wondering how to heal from a divorce you didn't want. I know how bad it sucked. More than anything. Ever. If you're ready to start enjoying life again, read on to learn five things you can do to heal from this divorce.

You got the news. It’s Over …

I mean, "What The H*!!". You spent the majority of your adult life trying to make this marriage work. You put up with crap, but it was worth it to you. Having a family, a person, and a life together mattered… and now it seems like you aren't good enough for them?! Because they didn't love you, unconditionally. And you can't fix it because they aren't willing. You don't get a choice because they. Are. Done. And the icing on the cake, perhaps they've been seeing someone else. 

And you are heartbroken about it

• You can't seem to stop crying or feeling resentful.
• You feel completely out of control.
• Your life feels like you have no say in how it unfolds.

The...